Round One in “Fight Like a Mother,” Where Mothers Are in Your Corner

“Mothers don’t play nice — they fight for what’s right.” Welcome to “Fight Like a Mother,” the podcast for people who’ve been wronged and need to know what to do next. Hosts Amy Carter and Heather Davis from Carter Law Group, a Texas-based firm focused on personal injury and employment discrimination, are legal moms and big sisters talking to real people, not other lawyers. In this episode, they introduce “Am I the Asshole?,” a segment that will feature a different scenario each episode along with their motherly – and legal – perspective. Tune in to hear their insights about an anonymous writer on Reddit who was told that she had no case after being sexually assaulted at work. Spoiler: They’d take the case.

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Transcript
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Got screwed at work.

Wondering if you have a case?

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Lawyers Amy Carter and Heather Davis

break down the real life legal nightmares

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that make you say what the,

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because mothers don't play nice,

they fight for what's right.

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Hey everyone, welcome to

our inaugural podcast,

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Fight Like a Mother,

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the podcast.com where you go to

get motherly advice if your mom's a

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lawyer and maybe a little

unhinged. So with that opening,

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we should probably.

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Explain why we are we doing

our first day of filming on

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which is also our holiday

firm's Christmas party.

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So we are all decked out in our

very ugly Christmas sweaters,

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although I love the

Grinch, so mine's cute.

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I bought mine last night because I don't

really own an ugly Christmas sweater,

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but I don't know about you guys, but

I don't love the holidays and so.

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I do.

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You'll learn that we are diametrically

opposed and lots of things and this is

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one of them. So anyway, welcome

to the inaugural podcast,

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which will be shown to you in January

and it's very on brand for us to be

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wearing Christmas sweaters and wishing

you a merry Christmas in January.

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We did have a moment where we were like,

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are we going to bring other clothes for

the podcast filming before the party?

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And we were like, you know what? I feel

like this is how it's supposed to be.

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And so this is how it will be.

Anyway, my name is Heather Davis.

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I am a partner and chief operating

officer at Carter Law Group,

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started by Amy Carter right here.

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And I am Amy Carter

and we're both lawyers,

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so that's part of our

qualifications for this.

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But I am the mother of two grown

children who are mostly productive

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adults. So I feel like

that's a good qualification.

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And Heather here is in the midst of, I do.

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I also am a lawyer. Spoiler alert,

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and I have three children

all under the age of 10.

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So I don't know if I would qualify them

as productive human or participants of

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society yet, but they're not. Well,

I was going to say they're not menas,

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but honestly,

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anyone who knows my children

might disagree with at

least two of them when I say

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that they're good people and they're fun

to have around and I love them dearly.

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They're.

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Great entertainment value.

They are, they're solid

entertainment value. Alright,

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so we haven't figured out

all the different ways that

things are going to work,

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but one of the things that we will be

doing on this podcast is talking about

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real legal issues and from the

perspective of moms and from the

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perspective of lawyers, from the

perspective of maybe overworked,

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unhinged people. So.

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That how this kind of came to be is Amy

and I obviously both work at Carter Law

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Group. We've worked here for years,

we've been in attorneys for years.

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I'm on my 11th year. I don't know if you

want to participate in that. I don't.

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Actually know. I was licensed

in 97, I graduated in 97.

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I was licensed in February of

98. I took the longer than 11.

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Years. It's.

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Really been a long.

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Time. So we celebrated our sixth

anniversary this year, which was great.

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And we do personal injury and we started

doing employment a couple years ago

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and employment discrimination practice.

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And we have been talking on and off about

this for years and that we feel like

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there's a really big gap in

accessibility for legal services.

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And obviously none of this podcast

is the legal advice. We're not your.

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Lawyers. But lemme say that one

more time. This is not legal advice,

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but it is.

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We will be talking about things that we

see coming up a lot to give you sort of

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background information so that you can

call a lawyer and know what questions to

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ask about the facts of your case.

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Podcast is very hot right now.

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A lot of lawyers have podcasts

talking to other lawyers,

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and we wanted to start a podcast

talking to non-lawyers as

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kind of moms and big sisters.

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And this is the information that we

would want you to know if you were one of

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our loved ones because you are.

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I don't know you that well,

so I wouldn't go that far.

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But I will say one of the segments that

we're going to have consistently on the

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podcast,

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I don't know what we're going to name

it typically it's called "Am I the

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Asshole?" And I'm actually

probably fine with that,

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where we find something on Reddit or

somewhere on the internet and sort of talk

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about that scenario and what our

motherly advice is and what our

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lawyerly advice is and maybe at the

end what our unhinged advice is.

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So I pulled up one last night from

Reddit and it says, lawyer says,

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I have no case.

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This is a title lawyer says I have no

case sexual harassment at workplace.

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And then it says I was sexually

assaulted at my workplace,

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went on stress leave and been

diagnosed with PDSD from it.

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Multiple other people have also

been sexually assaulted company,

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had no sexual harassment policy

in place currently on work cover.

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I don't know what work cover means.

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I have spoken to a lawyer and they

have told me I have no case against the

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company because they did not know about

the manager's behavior. Is this true?

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So there's a lot there to unpack.

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I feel like we should start

with the emotional part of it.

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That's always what gets

me first. As Amy knows,

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I get very invested in all of these cases,

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which is why we're careful about the

number of cases that we have at any time

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because they involve a lot of emotional

attachment because clients deserve that.

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Especially the sexual assault cases.

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So there are some sort of key things

about this post. The first one,

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just talking about the emotions around

reporting because depending on the

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facts of your case,

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it can be really important whether you

reported it to your employer when you

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were sexually harassed.

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I was thinking about this

recently inherited from my sister,

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my 16-year-old niece and 9-year-old

son. And my youngest is 25,

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so it's been a minute since I've

been doing the parenting thing.

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But I was picking her up from her

first day at a new high school.

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She just moved in with me and I

was like, how's it going, whatever.

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And she was talking about in a

very sort of stoic way about her

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art class and the special needs young

man in her arts class who had decided on

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the first day that he was enamored

with her. And then the next day she

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was like, I'm trying to be nice,

but I don't really know what to do.

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And he had made art for her and he

kept playing with her hair and she was

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clearly uncomfortable and I was trying

to decide what I was going to do from a

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parenting standpoint with reporting,

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and she didn't really

want me to escalate it.

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And ultimately the art teacher

recognized what was going on and talked

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to the special needs teacher

in the class and said,

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we have to move him because she

observed that my niece Bella was feeling

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uncomfortable,

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which is the best case scenario in that

situation because it's a public school,

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everyone gets to go to school

and they sort of saw the issue

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and addressed it without anyone

having to report anything.

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That doesn't always

happen in the workplace.

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Has.

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Anything like that ever happened to you?

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So something like that did happen to me

in high school where there's a special

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needs child who decided that I was

the love of his life. And again,

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a teacher noticed the issue

before I had to do anything.

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But when you're in that

situation, it's very much like,

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am I overreacting? Is this as

bad as I'm thinking that it is?

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What if they don't believe me? If I say

something, what if they just tell me,

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Ugh, it's okay. You're just

going to have to deal with it.

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All of those things kind of rush through

your head, especially when you're 15,

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16, 17. Those things carry into adulthood.

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And so the issue with reporting is that

you're inherently asking a victim to

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feel comfortable enough

to go to somebody and say,

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this bad thing is happening

to me and I need your help.

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And not all workplaces or school

systems or families to be fair

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allow for that kind of

communication. So one,

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if you're in charge of that

in your workplace, fix it.

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Make sure that you have a comfortable

environment where employees feel like they

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can come and talk to you about issues.

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But as an employee who has no control

over that situation, you're really stuck.

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You're stuck with whatever

situation that you're dealt with.

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And thankfully there's been

recognition here recently,

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I would say going back, but five or

six years or so, maybe closer to 10,

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my whole.

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Even in Texas, which is not the most.

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Progressive state facts, that

it can take victims a long time.

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It can take them a long time to not

only remember what happened themselves,

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but recognize it and process it in a

way that would allow them to talk to

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somebody else about it and then actually

take the steps to go and talk to

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somebody else about it.

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And so you've seout to accommodate for

the fact that it can take people a while

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to feel comfortable to want to report.en

a whole movement of states that are

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pushing out statutes of limitation

and pushing out these kind of notice

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requirements and stuff like that,

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even when it comes to notifying about

filing administrative claims for sexual

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harassment,

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pushing all those deadlines and stuff

out to accommodate for the fact that it

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can take people a while to feel

comfortable to want to report.

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And so it's really hard to

talk to people who are like,

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I just came around to recognizing what

happened to me and you're telling me that

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it's too late. That doesn't seem fair

and it's not fair. And it sucks. It does.

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And I will say this about the

law, we joke all the time,

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if you ask a lawyer a question,

we're not going to give an answer.

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This person was like, is that true?

The answer is always going to be,

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it depends because the law is supposed

to be a balancing act and it's been sort

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of a living creature

that's developed over time.

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And so it's always sort of balancing

people's rights versus the other side's

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rights and trying to

figure out how to balance.

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How that.

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Yeah. And in this case,

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so Texas has extended to the deadline

for you to make a claim with the EOC or

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the TWC for sexual harassment,

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but it still requires you to

talk to your employer before you

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quit or have a lawsuit.

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And the idea behind that is

the employer purportedly,

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the employer is supposed to have

an opportunity to fix it again,

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like Bella's situation, your situation

in high school, it would be much better.

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This is my opinion because

I'm a more progressive person.

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But if the employer was responsible

for sort of paying attention and

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identifying, oh,

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this might be an issue and doing something

about it without requiring the victim

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to report, but that is

not where the law is.

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No. And I don't think it'll

ever, if we're being honest,

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I don't think it'll ever get to that

point. If you pull the emotion out of it,

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you can kind of see some of the logic.

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But I always want to first

address the emotion of that post.

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It's a really hard situation.

Something bad obviously happened.

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She tried to do the best thing that she

thought in not only processing what she

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went through, but making sure

that she was protecting herself.

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And then to be told, the first person

that you talked to, you fucked this up.

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That's rough.

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And I will say,

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Heather and I have talked about this

a lot about what we tell people.

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One of the things that we tell people

a lot who've reached out to us before,

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anything's changed in their

work circumstances, they're

being sexually harassed,

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sexual assault and sexual harassment

are very different things in Texas,

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and we will talk about

that in just a minute.

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But they're being sexually

harassed and we are saying to them,

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before we can do anything for you,

you have to go report it. Honestly,

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I would like to be able to say,

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and usually the employer does the right

thing and they do an investigation and

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whatever, but realistically speaking,

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because what happens is they do an

investigation, they go talk to people.

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Your workplace is going to know that

this happened sort of situation.

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We tell people,

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you really need to be prepared to find

another job because it will either be

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uncomfortable for you or a

lot of times the employer,

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your supervisor is friends with the

person. That's why they were getting away

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with it in the first place. And so then

they start retaliating against you.

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HR is its own thing over

here and it's saying,

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we're going to do an investigation,

we're going to go talk to people,

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but we all know the people you work

with have emotions about it too.

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It may have emotions about the perpetrator

and might start taking it out on you.

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And so there is a separate cause of

action for retaliation. And honestly,

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those are the more typical cases

and the best cases legally.

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So what we tell our potential clients is

you have to go report it and go through

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that whole process. And a lot of times

I feel like we're revictimizing people.

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Well, we are. And I will say Amy and I,

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we make a concerted effort to educate

all of the members on our team and our

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clients on not re-traumatizing

our clients when they call in.

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It's very important to me.

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I give CLEs about it in different

bar associations across the state.

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It's very important, but there's an

element of it that you can't avoid.

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I have to know what happened.

You have to report it.

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These are requirements and it stinks.

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But it is one of those unavoidable

aspects of the entire situation.

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That sort of,

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I guess the mom advice of this

episode is that I know that it's hard.

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I know that it's uncomfortable and you

may want to talk to a lawyer about the

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specific facts of your case

before you go report it.

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Because a lot of times you do just

have to suck it up and go make the

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report to HR and then let the

chips fall where they may.

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If you talk to an attorney and you find.

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Somebody who's on your side, I think

it does help if you feel like, okay,

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well even if HR doesn't believe me,

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or even if whoever gets mad at me or my

coworkers get pissed and start making

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it, at least I've got

somebody in my corner.

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And if you found a good

plaintiff's attorney,

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they'll make you feel comfortable that

they're in your corner no matter what

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else happens.

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Right? Unfortunately,

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I mean that's sort of our motherly

advice for the day is that you do have to

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report before you can move

forward in most cases.

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But if you want to see if that's

required, reach out to a lawyer.

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Most lawyers in that space give free

consultations and we'll kind of walk you

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through what's required

for the facts of your case.

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Now looking at the facts of this case,

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Heather and I were talking about it and

we were like, we would take that case.

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In a heartbeat. I would sign that case.

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Up without her having gone to hr.

And there are a few reasons why.

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So what I remembered is that

the attorney told her there

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wasn't any notice, but she specifically,

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and I'm only working with the facts of

what were online from this anonymous

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post, right?

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But she specifically said in the post

that there were other people who had been

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sexually harassed. Even if that's all

the information I got on an intake form,

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we have a questionnaire on our

website that people can fill out,

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even if that's the only

information that I had,

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I'm still signing that

case up to investigate it.

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And she also said that it was because

they did not know about the manager's

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behavior, which kind of makes it

seem like the harasser was a manager.

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So let's talk about that first.

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I said before that there's a difference

between sexual assault and sexual

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harassment In Texas, all the case

law says it's the groman of the case,

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meaning that it's what does groman.

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Mean? Again, really like the

ultimate issue. So caveat here,

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we're obviously both attorneys in Texas,

Amy's also licensed in California,

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but when we talk about this

is what the law generally is,

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most of the time it's going to be Texas

and a lot will clarify if it's not,

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and a lot of places it's very similar,

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but Texas is the majority

of our background.

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Gravamen is the heart of the

issue, the meat of the issue.

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What is it stripping everything else away?

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What is it truly at the end of

the day? And so it's this topic,

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we've talked about this before, can

be 47 episodes, the sexual harassment,

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sexual assaults, the gray areas there.

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But the true issue in Texas when you're

dealing with a sexual assault in the

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workplace is Texas case

law is going to look at,

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it's like a multifactorial

test and be like,

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was it really harassment that

evolved into sexual assault?

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In which case we're going to treat it

as harassment under the Texas Labor Code

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and that stuff,

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or was it an actual sexual assault?

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And so we're going to treat it as a

civil case under those statutes and.

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Remedies. Some examples of this

from cases that we've dealt with,

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we had a young woman who

her first day on the job,

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she was attacked by a coworker

who wasn't a manager and that

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we treated like sexual assault.

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Other cases we've had some

cases involving under,

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it gets really gray when you're

dealing with underage victims.

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And if it happens over time,

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if it's grooming or if it escalates over

time where it starts with something a

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little off color or she asks you

out on a date and you say no,

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and then it's uncomfortable and then they

continue doing it and it escalates to

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a place where it's assault,

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meaning that they physically

touched you in an unwanted way,

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the law is probably going to

deal with sexual harassment.

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And this notice issue is different for

those two different kinds of cases.

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Yeah, for sure. Sorry,

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I'm also realizing as we're doing this

that my A DHD is going to become very

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apparent throughout the filming.

So I apologize, I cannot sit still.

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A DHD Queens will help me out on that.

I'll try my best in most situations,

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but I'm going to fail. So let's pretend

like I didn't even make that promise.

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I think that we've got three cases that

obviously we really can't talk about the

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situations of it,

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but keeping it at like 30,000 feet

really play out the differences in these.

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So we've got us call her Janie.

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We've got Janie who she true

kind of sexual assault. Yes.

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Okay.

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It's hard when you're trying to make up

non case telling facts off the top of

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your head. You do it.

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So the case we just talked about

with an actual sexual clear sexual

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assault, my first day of work, someone

pulls me into the bathroom and rapes me.

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That is a sexual assault case.

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And the notice requirements

to the employer for that

are usually new or should

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have known.

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The whole idea of notice is that you're

giving the employer an opportunity to

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fix the problem either before it

happens or immediate for it to not

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go forward. You're giving the

employer a chance to fix the problem.

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So in that case, with a sexual

assault, it's new or should have known,

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which means that the employer

knew that this guy or this gal

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is a predator or they should have

known because it's a situation where,

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and there's been a lot of movement in

the law about what employers have to do

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from background checks

and that kind of thing.

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So should they have run a background

check and known that this guy was a

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convicted sexual

predator? Or in this case,

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were there other situations where the

employer should have discovered that this

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person is a sexual predator?

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And it sounds like there at least could

have been because it sounds like the

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other people had reported.

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So the worst sort of facts for that

is a number of people were sexually

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assaulted by this guy, but then nobody

ever reported it. So the employer says,

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oh, we never knew. That becomes much

less believable at some point. And.

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So it becomes untenable. For

instance, in another case that we had,

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there was a situation where the

facts developed where the manager

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had heard rumors that an

employee had previously

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been convicted of sexual abuse of a child.

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And as the facts developed in

that case, it was like, okay,

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we ended up eventually

taking the deposition of the

manager. The manager's like,

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oh yeah, well, I had rumors of X,

Y, and Z. Well then what did you do?

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Did you do a background check at that

point? Did you do anything to follow up?

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So the more and more you kind of

unravel those strings, it becomes.

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More untenable so that he's got worse.

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Because she also had heard rumors that

he was dating the underaged girl that he

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was managing and had heard rumors that

he was a sexual predator of children and

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chose not to do anything.

And so in those cases,

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while our client did not

report the behavior to anyone,

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the employer still had notice.

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And that's true for a sexual harassment

case there too, as the ongoing behavior,

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if we can show that the employer should

have known because of a string of

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situations that this person was

a problem or that there was a

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specific issue. Let's talk

about notice in a different.

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Context.

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We've had another case where

we represented a man or

represented a man who had

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witnessed the sexual harassment

and assault of a coworker,

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basically went to report that,

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but in the context of that

is no longer working there.

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And so the question in that

entire situation is, well,

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if that person had never done it before,

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then we never had the ability to fix it,

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and if we didn't have

the ability to fix it,

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then we didn't do anything

wrong because you didn't work.

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And so the fact that you don't

work there anymore isn't our fault.

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For retaliation. I don't remember

the case that you're talking about.

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I'm assuming he no longer

works there. He was fired.

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So retaliation covers protected activity.

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So it could be that I as a sexual

harassment victim go in and

Speaker:

report it to HR and then they start

retaliating against me. Maybe not hr,

Speaker:

but instead my supervisor who

was friends with the guy who was

Speaker:

harassing me starts doing

anything that actually changes my

Speaker:

work situation. So it's, it's things

like demotions before you have a lawsuit,

Speaker:

there's a whole sort of range

of things that are required,

Speaker:

but you start seeing things

that feel retaliatory.

Speaker:

That is one kind of retaliation case.

Another is what you were talking about.

Speaker:

I'm not the person who was harassed

or was discriminated against,

Speaker:

but I went and reported it to hr,

Speaker:

which is a protected activity and then

became the victim of a retaliation

Speaker:

case. And I was fired because they were

like, we don't want to talk about this.

Speaker:

We don't want to deal with this. And so

then that person has a retaliation case.

Speaker:

The victim may still have a sexual

assault or sexual harassment case,

Speaker:

but the person who did the reporting

will have a retaliation case if they were

Speaker:

retaliated against after

engaging in protected activity.

Speaker:

Now,

Speaker:

there's one more circumstance that we

know of that we're going to talk to you

Speaker:

about where notice is not really required.

And that's flagged in this post too.

Speaker:

It is. So in this post,

we have the employer,

Speaker:

she talks about it being a manager.

Speaker:

This is another one of those situations

where it's easier to talk to a lawyer

Speaker:

about the facts of your case. And again,

Speaker:

we're not giving legal advice because

every fact scenario is so different.

Speaker:

And this is another situation where

the law has developed over time,

Speaker:

and it's not like it can depend on little.

Speaker:

Specific.

Speaker:

Facts about whether or not the

person who actually committed

Speaker:

the transgression was a manager

for purposes of liability.

Speaker:

So in Texas, it's like a

principal or a vice principal,

Speaker:

not in a school context,

Speaker:

but were you high enough up in the

company to where basically your

Speaker:

actions can be imputed or

taken to be a company's action

Speaker:

almost, right? And so

when you have a manager,

Speaker:

an owner, an executive type thing,

Speaker:

we're always going to run through this

analysis of can they be a principal

Speaker:

or vice principal? Can they be held

liable even when there's no notice?

Speaker:

Because I can basically put you in

the company's shoes as that actor

Speaker:

and kind of tag it that way. So her post,

Speaker:

just for the basic

facts that she provided,

Speaker:

raises enough questions where I'm like,

we need to sign it up and investigate.

Speaker:

Maybe she's in a state where

this isn't true. I don't know,

Speaker:

but I would certainly have a different

opinion than the attorney in that post.

Speaker:

So there are multiple

layers in all of this.

Speaker:

Another reason to sort of talk to

lawyers, but one of the things that we do,

Speaker:

and we have on our firm website,

Speaker:

I don't think we have it

on our podcast website.

Speaker:

We have a downloadable sort of PDF

on how to report and the things that

Speaker:

you need to be doing after

you've reported. So again,

the tough advice is yes,

Speaker:

to maintain a lawsuit

and to protect yourself,

Speaker:

you really do need to report to

HR to your supervisor or whatever.

Speaker:

It's funny because companies have these

zero tolerance policies. Yeah, I'm.

Speaker:

So sorry.

Speaker:

I'm going to backtrack here real quick

and I want to highlight something else

Speaker:

that's in her post. Girl,

Speaker:y'all:

sexual harassment policy anymore?

Speaker:

That's basic.

Speaker:

So going all the way back to creating

an environment where your employees

Speaker:

feel like they can come and

talk to you about this stuff.

Speaker:

Not having a sexual harassment

policy feels crazy to me at this

Speaker:

point. I think any.

Speaker:

Large corporation is going to have

a sexual harassment policy. We have.

Speaker:

10 How many employees?

Speaker:

Like 10 employees. We have a, we're

a law firm who does this, right?

Speaker:

So I think yes, if you work

in a large corporation,

Speaker:

I think in some ways that will give you

a one 800 number or something like that

Speaker:

and you can make an, you maybe

even be able to do it anonymously.

Speaker:

It really depends on how

your company handles it.

Speaker:

We've had some cases where they can make

anonymous complaints about stuff and

Speaker:

they just have to put in

some basic information so

that people can investigate.

Speaker:

And so that's fine too. I'm sorry if

that came across as judgy or shaming.

Speaker:

I'm certainly not trying to, but

you got to, if you own a company,

Speaker:

and by that I mean you have one employee,

even one, even if it's yourself,

Speaker:

I would just write, it's no skin of here.

Speaker:

Write a sexual harassment policy,

Speaker:

develop a procedure so everybody knows

and everybody feels comfortable and

Speaker:

everybody knows also that

you're taking it seriously.

Speaker:

I feel like I saw this

TikTok today where it was,

Speaker:

we hear a lot where it's like one in four

women are sexually assaulted in their

Speaker:

life. One in six men are going to

be sexually assaulted in their life.

Speaker:

The statistic we don't hear

on the other side is how many,

Speaker:

you don't hear the one in whatever men are

Speaker:

perpetrators. That statistic

isn't one that we hear.

Speaker:

And I think we've been doing

a really, and women too,

Speaker:

one in however many women are

perpetrators or predators.

Speaker:

We've been doing a really good job,

Speaker:

I think as a society of pulling towards

trusting victims, believing victims,

Speaker:

giving victims a space to talk

comfortably and honestly and openly

Speaker:

about what's happening and

not immediately shaming them.

Speaker:

I'm not going to say every part of the

world or country or Texas is like that,

Speaker:

but there are good pockets and I

don't know where those pockets are.

Speaker:

But okay,

The good pockets. Yeah,

Speaker:

I still really think it is

incredibly difficult and you

Speaker:

can expect to not be believed.

Speaker:

And I do believe that a lot

of times the really egregious

Speaker:

actors are people with a lot of power,

Speaker:

and so it's even harder to

report. And so that's true.

Speaker:

If you work at a large conglomerate,

then calling the HR people or whatever,

Speaker:

you're still going to have to deal with

your small team of people once you've

Speaker:

made the report.

Speaker:

But I think it's much more difficult

in a business where some guy started a

Speaker:

business and he's the owner

or his son is working.

Speaker:

We had these situations where the

sun is working there and gets drunk

Speaker:

at the Christmas party.

Speaker:

And the true fact at the end of the

day, we said this in the beginning,

Speaker:

is that we tell all of our clients, if

you're going to move forward with this,

Speaker:

you need to be prepared

to find another job.

Speaker:

And that just for a lot of them

feels like a whole other blow. Like,

Speaker:

I didn't do anything wrong. I

didn't do anything to bring this on.

Speaker:

I didn't make any mal

action. I didn't do anything,

Speaker:

and I am going to be the

one that suffers. Again,

Speaker:

because how many settlement agreements

have you seen where it doesn't end in a

Speaker:

mutual separation?

Speaker:

I have zero. I have not seen any.

Speaker:

I haven't seen any, and I haven't heard

of any. I haven't talked to an attorney.

Speaker:

I have heard of some, but they're

usually federal employees, honestly.

Speaker:

So I think that the realistic

sort of nitty gritty advice

Speaker:

is that you do have to report to

have a lawsuit, and when you report,

Speaker:

you should at least expect some

bad things to sort of happen.

Speaker:

And so finding another, just being

prepared to end your employment, not.

Speaker:

Finding another job, right? Let's

clarify that, right? You can't,

Speaker:

before you just walk in and

quit, please talk to an attorney.

Speaker:

This.

Speaker:

Goes back to the whole notice issue.

Speaker:

Of if something happens at work. I mean,

Speaker:

these cases are really hard because that's

another piece of advice that we have

Speaker:

to give to people constantly.

Speaker:

So you've reported and they've

done their investigation,

Speaker:

and now they've started retaliating

against you, but they haven't fired you,

Speaker:

so it's just uncomfortable.

Speaker:

Your supervisor is saying shit under

his breath about you in meetings.

Speaker:

They're not inviting you to.

Speaker:

Lunch anymore.

Speaker:

They moved you to a different place.

Speaker:

All these people are blaming you.

Everybody really loved the aggressor,

Speaker:

and so it's your fault that they're not

there anymore. It happens all the time.

Speaker:

And so then you have to go report

that so that they can fix that.

Speaker:

Because if ultimately you just say, I

can't do this anymore, I'm quitting.

Speaker:

That's called constructive

discharge. And while it doesn't.

Speaker:

Make it not a case, it makes it

a lot harder. And so our law mom,

Speaker:

advice to you is please just talk

to somebody before you do that.

Speaker:

We have loved ones, very close, loved

ones who just quit in blazes of glory.

Speaker:

I'm not saying that they quit after

a sexual harassment or anything,

Speaker:

but don't be that person. Don't just

walk in and quit in a blaze of glory.

Speaker:

Think about yourself first and

in thinking about yourself first.

Speaker:

You have to protect yourself, your

future, your claims, and talk to an.

Speaker:

Attorney about that.

Speaker:

It is a very sort of complicated area

where the law has unfortunately given the

Speaker:

employer a bunch of different steps

where they get out of jail, free card.

Speaker:

So you kind of have to

navigate that whole process,

Speaker:

and that includes reporting everything,

Speaker:

keeping a journal of everything that's

happened so that you have sort of it in

Speaker:

real time. And you can remember

keeping anything in writing.

Speaker:

I would say we have a lot of people

who secretly record conversations,

Speaker:

and that can be a problem.

Speaker:

And so before you go in and

you're recording conversations,

Speaker:

you need to talk to a lawyer about

whether that's legal in your state,

Speaker:

whether that's appropriate, whether

that'll be held against you in some way.

Speaker:

Or maybe you have a handbook that

specifically says X, Y, and z.

Speaker:

Texas is a one party state, right? There

are some other states that are too,

Speaker:

which means if one party

to the conversation knows

that it's being recorded,

Speaker:

it's okay, but that doesn't mean

that it's okay in every circumstance.

Speaker:

Then it doesn't mean that there aren't

more specific rules or regulations that

Speaker:

could apply to what you're specifically

doing. So it's all a jumble.

Speaker:

The one party thing is I have to be part

of the conversation If I'm recording

Speaker:

it, I can't put a listening device in my

asshole boss's office and record that.

Speaker:

So I'm really glad you said bosses

after that. I was like, whoa,

Speaker:

we're going to go.

Speaker:

Anyway.

Speaker:

Let's just move on past the joke that

Heather thought Amy was about to make and.

Speaker:

I wasn't. There was no joke. So I do. I

feel like we're rambling a little bit,

Speaker:

which does happen with us.

Speaker:

Also, we need to get a fan in here

that, okay, the moral of the story,

Speaker:

find an attorney who's going to be on

your side. You should be able to find one.

Speaker:

If you need help finding one either

in your jurisdiction or whatever,

Speaker:

reach out to us. We're connected to

lots of women and lots of men too.

Speaker:

We're very pro women over

here. We're very pro men too.

Speaker:

I have two sons and I'm married to a man,

Speaker:

but there's a really good group of

women that we're connected to across the

Speaker:

country who can help us

find representation for you.

Speaker:

So yes,

Speaker:

the moral of the story is talk to

a lawyer before you make any major

Speaker:

decisions. Typically, there are employment

lawyer associations in every state.

Speaker:

So Texas has the Texas

Employment Lawyer Association,

Speaker:

which has a list of attorneys

who handle employment cases.

Speaker:

If it's more of a sexual assault case,

Speaker:

you may want to look at

someone who handles more

sexual assault specific cases,

Speaker:

and unfortunately,

Speaker:

you're going to probably have to report

something to HR before you have a

Speaker:

lawsuit against your employer.

That just is the bottom line.

Speaker:

But you do want to talk to someone about

your case before you take that step,

Speaker:

even if it's really uncomfortable. We

always recommend that people don't quit,

Speaker:

basically, for sure,

Speaker:

employer to take the action to get rid

of you if that's the step that they want

Speaker:

to take, because that really

supports a retaliation game.

Speaker:

And to the anonymous Reddit

post, I would've taken your

case. I'm really sorry.

Speaker:

I hope you found the help

that you were looking for,

Speaker:

and I hope you're doing okay. Hey,

congratulations guys. Congrat,

Speaker:

for anybody who's still here,

Speaker:

congratulations on watching the

first episode of our podcast.

Speaker:

Congratulations to us. We did

it, Andre. We did it. We did it.

Speaker:

It's been a labor of love. It will

continue to be a labor of love.

Speaker:

It will continue to be

slightly unhinged. Yeah,

Speaker:

that's probably the best word for it.

That's probably the best word for it.

Speaker:

Like she said, the

episodes will be like this.

Speaker:

We won't always be talking about

sexual harassment and assault.

Speaker:

We've got some other segments

that we're talking about,

Speaker:

but realized this morning that we had

two very different thoughts on what the

Speaker:

names for those segments were,

Speaker:

so we just decided to punt on

that and we'll circle back to it.

Speaker:

We'll circle back. We'll circle back.

Speaker:

Perhaps someone will want to tell us

what our segments should be called,

Speaker:

some like nifty name. Right now we're

probably just going to ask Chad GPT.

Speaker:

But all that being said,

Speaker:

thank you for hanging out with us for

our inaugural ugly Christmas sweater

Speaker:

podcast episode.

Speaker:

I feel like next year when it's December,

Speaker:

we should bring these sweaters back and

we'll have done lots of episodes by then.

Speaker:

For,

Speaker:

I feel like I shouldn't have to wear the

sweater more than the one time today.

Speaker:

I.

Speaker:

Disagree. Lemme know in the comments.

Speaker:

I feel like most people would agree with.

Speaker:

Me, but that's fine.

Speaker:

All right, but if you liked this

content, this episode, our Faces,

Speaker:

whatever, please like,

Speaker:

subscribe or do all the other things that

you do to follow along with us on our

Speaker:

journey with our Fight

Like a Mother podcast.

Speaker:

You can find us on Fight Like

A Mother the podcast.com,

Speaker:

and there's more information available

on there. It's been a pleasure.

Speaker:

It will continue to be a pleasure.

As always, Amy Carter, I love you.

Speaker:

Merry Christmas everybody. We have a

holiday party to get to. Happy Holidays,

Speaker:

happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanza, happy

all the things. Happy Lunar New Year.

Speaker:

Probably by this time, lunar New Year

would've happened by the time it's airing.

Speaker:

I don't know what's

happening, but thank you.

Speaker:

That's it for today, but the

fight, it's never really over.

Speaker:

If you learned something today, share

it. Someone else probably needs it too.

Speaker:

Keep your coffee strong, your screenshots

organized, and your boundaries clear.

Speaker:

This is Fight Like a

Mother. Subscribe. Share.

Speaker:

Visit us at Fight Like A Mother the

podcast.com, and we'll see you next time.

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